What a stench!!

Posted On December 6, 2011

Filed under home, humour, Life
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OK, so I was going through my Facebook, and remembered that other social site, Bebo, remember that one. It had a blog attached to it, and I actually have written a few blogs, so I will be posting them for a giggle.

This next piece, happened on the 22/02/07 when I was living in the Isle of Man,

“Well, all I can say is that before you get halfway through this and feel like you can’t read on, out of sorrow for me, there is a happy ending.

Right, where do I start, maybe at the beginning, there’s an idea. Right, moved in to the flat in April last year, the drains were a big buggered (as in they were overflowing and on asking the previous tenant she said they usually do that). So there’s me with me big stick shoving it in a drainpipe trying to unblock it (I will tell you now, I wore protection. about 5 black bin bags covered anything that might get dirty, and I didn’t want to get dirty). So after about an hour of fighting the drain, I won, and it began to do its work and drain. This was ok, as it was just rainwater, nothing else. Well, months went by and no major blockage of drains happened (well, nothing my big stick couldn’t handle). But at the start of this week (my half term, in which I was meant to be relaxing) the drains started to block. On asking the landlord about unblocking the drains the week b4 we broke up for half term, he said he was onto it, and then asked if I could do it. Well, he told me he had someone sorting it out, this person being RON THE BASTARDING BUILDER (RTBB). Now, RTBB is a twat. I called him; he said someone would be out to sort it. In the meantime the drains were getting worse (the back yard was flooding with tissues). The final straw came yesterday, when (after spending hours cleaning the flat) the toilet and bath started to back up because of the drains being blocked. well, I was livid (and also sick). My hours of cleaning, tainted by the messiness of the bathroom. So I called a guy to come out and sort out the drains, he said he would be here at 8am. I could live with that, or could I. Well, the toilet was backing up with tissues (which I could kind of deal with) then there it was. What was that in my toilet? Why was a hair curling sponge in my toilet? I haven’t seen those since my mum used to curl her hair. Wait, that’s not a sponge. NO!! OMG!!!! I feel sick thinking about it now. It was a used tampon, in my toilet. OMG, I want to throw up. Now fellas, unused tampons look (kind of) ok, but a used one! I don’t even thing the girls would like to see that floating in their toilet. So I did what any chemist would do, I attacked it from afar with loads of bleach to get rid of the red colour in my bowl. I just want to throw up, I was so upset, annoyed and felt so dirty. Anyways, I didn’t sleep well last night because the toilet was making noises. So I was up early, the fella came at 7.55am, was so happy to see him. he tried to unblock the drains, it wasn’t looking hopeful, and the seemingly ok water turned into toilet water, there were turds and toilet roll floating in it. MINGING!!!!! well, after an hour and a half, the guy found the blockage and was in the process of clearing it. It took half an hour to unblock (as it kept blocking up). He has sorted it, the drains are clear, so 2 hours (and £156.45) later, the water is free flowing. The bloodied twat sponge is gone, I run the water again. I am much happier now. Oh, and through this whole process TWAT hasn’t a clue it went on and doesn’t know that he is getting hit with a bill first thing on Monday morning. PLUS I am going to charge him for cleaning products and I am going to charge him for the inconvience of not being able to use the bathroom for over 12 hours. Oh, and RTBB is still getting someone to come round, well, I will let ya’ll know IF they ever come.

Right, some of you will be laughing right now, please think of this, how would you feel if you were unable to use your bathroom in case you saw what you just flushed floating in your back yard. how would feel, having the smell of 5 flats worth of shit wafting into your kitchen. This is no laughing matter. And if you are still laughing, imagine seeing a dirty used tampon in your toilet. Now I accept the fact you women folk bleed, I even offer sympathy and chocolate when you feel down because of it. BUT to have that thing floating in my toilet bowl, that’s just taking it too far.

Anyways, it’s sorted now.

ta ta for now”