Greenland; Part 1, an extract from my diary

Posted On December 7, 2011

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So, again going through my old Bebo account I found another blog entry. This blog entry is an extract from a diary I kept when I was in Greenland for a month.  I was in Greenland for a month in the summer of 2006. Myself and another teacher, along with other adults, took 40 students on a trip to Greenland for a Duke of Edinburgh exhibition. The month consisted of kayaking, trekking and a residential. There were three groups of students and they all did each activity on a rota. It was an amazing experience (looking back on it). As the students were keeping a diary, I decided to also. It was tough going, I will write more about the experience later, but for now here is an extract from my diary. Please bear in mind, this was written 22 days into a trip where we were camping, had no running water, were constantly on the move, and were carrying our own food for the whole trip, needless to say, a bit of insanity kicked in.

“Day 22

The four of us started a fire to keep warm. We were chatting. Amanda stood up. She saw something. We all stood. We all saw it. It was a fox. We didn’t have time to determine if it was rabid. We grabbed rocks (well, I grabbed my camera). We watched it scuttle from bush to bush. Before anyone launched an assault I took some pics. Amanda launched the first assault. It was hit on the head and ran. It can back and sniffed its enemy (the rock). Next was Peter, but his gammy arm made him miss. A well positioned rock helped the rock ricochet. The rock hit it. The fox was gone. For how long?? We went places in twos from now on. The fear of rabies had caught hold. Burning stuff is strangely relaxing. That is until Aalish burns stuff. It all went quiet, until………….BANG. A small explosion unnerved us again. We flinched. Peter remained motionless. Is he dead? No, just in shock. Amanda forgot to remove a glass bottle. We could have died!!! We didn’t.
After some comforting conversations (about rabies) we retired to our tents, trying to sleep, but the excitement of the evening combated lethargy. Lethargy is winning………”


What a stench!!

Posted On December 6, 2011

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OK, so I was going through my Facebook, and remembered that other social site, Bebo, remember that one. It had a blog attached to it, and I actually have written a few blogs, so I will be posting them for a giggle.

This next piece, happened on the 22/02/07 when I was living in the Isle of Man,

“Well, all I can say is that before you get halfway through this and feel like you can’t read on, out of sorrow for me, there is a happy ending.

Right, where do I start, maybe at the beginning, there’s an idea. Right, moved in to the flat in April last year, the drains were a big buggered (as in they were overflowing and on asking the previous tenant she said they usually do that). So there’s me with me big stick shoving it in a drainpipe trying to unblock it (I will tell you now, I wore protection. about 5 black bin bags covered anything that might get dirty, and I didn’t want to get dirty). So after about an hour of fighting the drain, I won, and it began to do its work and drain. This was ok, as it was just rainwater, nothing else. Well, months went by and no major blockage of drains happened (well, nothing my big stick couldn’t handle). But at the start of this week (my half term, in which I was meant to be relaxing) the drains started to block. On asking the landlord about unblocking the drains the week b4 we broke up for half term, he said he was onto it, and then asked if I could do it. Well, he told me he had someone sorting it out, this person being RON THE BASTARDING BUILDER (RTBB). Now, RTBB is a twat. I called him; he said someone would be out to sort it. In the meantime the drains were getting worse (the back yard was flooding with tissues). The final straw came yesterday, when (after spending hours cleaning the flat) the toilet and bath started to back up because of the drains being blocked. well, I was livid (and also sick). My hours of cleaning, tainted by the messiness of the bathroom. So I called a guy to come out and sort out the drains, he said he would be here at 8am. I could live with that, or could I. Well, the toilet was backing up with tissues (which I could kind of deal with) then there it was. What was that in my toilet? Why was a hair curling sponge in my toilet? I haven’t seen those since my mum used to curl her hair. Wait, that’s not a sponge. NO!! OMG!!!! I feel sick thinking about it now. It was a used tampon, in my toilet. OMG, I want to throw up. Now fellas, unused tampons look (kind of) ok, but a used one! I don’t even thing the girls would like to see that floating in their toilet. So I did what any chemist would do, I attacked it from afar with loads of bleach to get rid of the red colour in my bowl. I just want to throw up, I was so upset, annoyed and felt so dirty. Anyways, I didn’t sleep well last night because the toilet was making noises. So I was up early, the fella came at 7.55am, was so happy to see him. he tried to unblock the drains, it wasn’t looking hopeful, and the seemingly ok water turned into toilet water, there were turds and toilet roll floating in it. MINGING!!!!! well, after an hour and a half, the guy found the blockage and was in the process of clearing it. It took half an hour to unblock (as it kept blocking up). He has sorted it, the drains are clear, so 2 hours (and £156.45) later, the water is free flowing. The bloodied twat sponge is gone, I run the water again. I am much happier now. Oh, and through this whole process TWAT hasn’t a clue it went on and doesn’t know that he is getting hit with a bill first thing on Monday morning. PLUS I am going to charge him for cleaning products and I am going to charge him for the inconvience of not being able to use the bathroom for over 12 hours. Oh, and RTBB is still getting someone to come round, well, I will let ya’ll know IF they ever come.

Right, some of you will be laughing right now, please think of this, how would you feel if you were unable to use your bathroom in case you saw what you just flushed floating in your back yard. how would feel, having the smell of 5 flats worth of shit wafting into your kitchen. This is no laughing matter. And if you are still laughing, imagine seeing a dirty used tampon in your toilet. Now I accept the fact you women folk bleed, I even offer sympathy and chocolate when you feel down because of it. BUT to have that thing floating in my toilet bowl, that’s just taking it too far.

Anyways, it’s sorted now.

ta ta for now”

Christmas buildup? Christmas let down!!


Pure and utter disappointment. That’s what Christmas brings. I don’t care what all you do-gooders and Tiny Tims out there say. The countdown to Christmas is one disappointing day after another. And before you call me scrooge or say bah humbug, read on. This is the second year in a row that I’ve been let down by the build up to Christmas, why? You prob think I’m a grumpy old man, or a miser, if u think that, you are partially right, but that’s nor why I dislike this time of year. Why do I dislike it? Why do I dislike each day in the buildup to Christmas? Well, let me tell you. Firstly I think that anyone who starts celebrating Christmas before December is nuts, but that’s not the reason. On the last day of November I bought an advent calendar, yesterday I forgot to open the first wee door, when.I remembered in the evening (about 8pm) my heart skipped a beat, I was gonna open the first door, ‘Woohoo’ I thought. I found the door, and opened it. What was I greeted with? Disappointment, that’s what. Why? In my Maltesers calendar, behind each door is a chocolate, not a malteser as I had hoped. If I wanted chocolate I would have gotten a dairy milk advent calendar. Screw you Maltesers, you ruined my Christmas. Now I have 23 days of disappointment ahead of me.